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An Open Letter to All Micromanagers
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2018-10-22
By J. Tamhane
 
Dear Micromanager,
I write this letter with utmost admiration of your precision. You have shown time and time again that you can see what nobody else could. When most human beings are busy prioritising, you have the supernatural skill of focusing on one task carried out by your subordinate until you find what is wrong with it.
This, in case you are wondering, is quite rare. Most managers choose the simple and easy path of getting feedback and letting someone do their job to the best of their abilities. Some inferior human beings even sink so low as to lead others. You, on the other hand, have figured out that motivation and encouragement are just useless jargon for the weak. True strength lies in completely destroying any sense of self-respect in your team. After all, if you thank them, they might get complacent, right?
Have you kept score of how many subordinates you have successfully demoralised? Is it in double-digits? If so, you should be ashamed of yourself. You need to aim for triple digits! What use would it be for your epitaph to say “Here lies a micromanager who wrecked a few careers�. Why not go for Gold? Why not aim for “Here lies the best micromanager who could turn every single life along the journey into a dismal sorrowful pain of dissatisfaction, simply through spoken words alone� Come on, I dare you!
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